To Live and Love Without Fear

“By all means, go out into the world and explore with your heart. Fall in and out of love until your hands are libraries of all the people they have touched. Before long, we all learn, right down to our bones, that some people are hostels, and others are home.” - Beau Taplin

Photo by: Reima Rusma

Photo by: Reima Rusma

I am totally aware of how lucky I am to be able doing things I love, but sometimes you don’t realise how far you’ve come until you open social media and Facebook reminded you what you did this time last year. Last August 2018 I was in Myanmar exploring Inle Lake and Mandalay for 10 days. It was so good to be back in one of my favourite countries, even though funny story I was going through a little heartbreak and just about to embark on new adventures. So I thought the only way to fix it and heal was just simply traveling. Go somewhere, pick up the camera, explore and create. Heartbreak, growth and change can be extremely hard and painful but no matter how bad the situation is, don’t let it bring you down. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. You always have the power to get up and rise again. Carrie Fisher said “take your broken heart, make it into art” , so that’s exactly what I do. There’s nothing more badass than a woman who picks herself up and move on. She put herself first and continue building herself. This is not just about boys but life in general. The next time you find yourself surrounded by people who don’t appreciate what you’ve done or treat you less than what you deserve, you gotta choose yourself and move on. I remember I met bunch of beautiful souls in Myanmar, from a strong woman/mom from Argentina to an independent artist from New York. Surrounded by these strong women and of course beautiful Burmese, I found my strength again. I was more than ready to leave my little comfort zone and see what life has in store for me. Excited to live and love without fear. Fast-forward almost 12 months later, I don’t think words can explain how travel has helped me mature, grow and embrace change. Also a huge amount of miracles I’ve received every single day. Oh trust me, I still get up every morning and ask myself the same question how did I get so lucky?

Perhaps one of the best things about my big adventure this time is I have all the space and time to reinvent myself again. Working in entertainment industry in LA has always been one of my biggest dreams. But unfortunately I don’t know a lot of people, I had no idea where or how to start. Some laughing at my decision giving it a try in LA, while few being totally supportive. I knocked on doors and reached out to people I’ve always wanted to collaborate or work with. From the producers of Parts Unknown to few other inspiring people in Los Angeles, I know I’m absolutely nobody but when you have a dream you gotta be brave enough to pick up the ball. Even though their final answer was no, but I’m grateful they gave me positive feedbacks and support. I also learn sometimes when you don’t know where to start, just take whatever it is in front of you and begin from there. I pushed myself to sign up for few dance classes and really just pole dance my heart out in LA. Who knew it was scary to dance in a new studio with new instructors and new girls, but I told myself well it’s not everyday you get to train with the best girls in Los Angeles, so don’t be shy. Pick up your boots, show up and dance your heart out. And you just sort of figure out your next step from there.

I try almost everything I’ve always wanted to do. I took online courses, learned French in Nice for two months, currently learning Spanish and slowly writing my book and curating my second travel zine. Still dealing with bunch of failures too ( which never easy ) but I learn to appreciate my progress through every delays. To accept that anything worthwhile takes time. To trust the process and be patient because God has bigger and better plans than what I had for myself. To be grateful because in the end of the day my blessings are bigger than my problems. I still have a huge mountain and bigger dreams waiting in front of me, don’t even know where to start but perhaps just one step at a time and faith things will soon fall into its own rightful place in its own time and at its own pace...no amount of rushing it will make things happen any the quicker. Patience is the name of the game....whatever will be, will be!

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“I am learning to live and love
Without counting the cost…
Without reasons and assurances that nothing will be lost”

Paris, 2019